The love he never gets
by ShImMeR1233
Summary: Kurt wipes the fog from the bathroom mirror


"If she's not down hea in five minutes, Ah swea _ta gawd_ Ah'll kill her," Rouge crossed her arms and leaned back in her chair, glaring at the door. Kurt nodded absentmindedly, looking sadly at his depressingly empty plate. He inhaled deeply, tilting his head back. The scents of the beautifully roasted chicken that sat in the center of the table taunted him. Kurt leaned forward, resting his chin on the table, his nose an inch from the steaming roasted bird.

"Soon, you vill be in mein belly," Kurt informed the chicken.

"_Ew! Kurt_! Sick! Don' breath on it!" Rouge snapped, obviously irritable from lack of food. Kurt groaned irritably, and sat up, dramatically tilting his head back as far as it would go, looking directly up at the chandelier that hung from the ceiling. It was seven o'clock at night at Xavier's institute for gifted youngsters, and one of them was no where to be found.

If it were Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, or Friday this would not be a problem. If it were Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, or Friday the Saturday and Sunday rule would not apply. Unfortunately, it was no Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, or Friday and yesterday was Saturday, thus making it Sunday, therefore the Saturday Sunday rule applied to this particular evening. Being in a mansion full of teenagers with different daily agendas, it was near impossible to have a set breakfast or dinnertime.

Jean and Scott had National Honors Society on Monday mornings, Roberto had soccer Thursday and Friday afternoon, Evan had remedial chemistry Tuesday through Friday until six o'clock at night, and Kitty had Student advisory board on Wednesday mornings. No to mention all the other normal activities teenagers' engage in...and...some quite un-normal activities as well. Jamie decided the best way to help the situation was by clanking his fork against his plate, as if this would magically summon Kitty from where ever she was. Logan's hand shot from across the table, gripping Jamie's small hand in mid clink.

"_Stop_," he growled, looking potentially dangerous.

_I am afraid Mr. Logan is a bit on the irritable side_ The professor's telepathy echoed in Kurt's head, making him jump slightly. Kurt looked around the long table and noticed everyone had the same reaction, except of course for Logan, who was still glaring at Jamie.

_It might be in your best interest to refrain from irritating him, in fact, no sudden movements may be ideal._

Kurt snorted a laugh, a grin crack on his face, until he noticed Logan looking at him strangly. Kurt turned his laugh into a cough, and then rested his head, face down, on the table as if he was placing himself in time out.

"I am so totally so sorry!!" Kitty's head phased abruptly through the table, making Kurt jump backwards, almost falling out of his chair.

"_Geez_ Keetty! You crazy!!"

"I am so sorry!" Kitty repeated, phasing the rest of the way through the table, "I was talking to Noelle and she kept taaaalking and taaaalking-"

"Keetty! Shut up and sit down!"

Kitty glowed for being cut off from her story, and sat down next to Jubilee. The second she sat down, everyone began grabbing for food. Kurt's hand immediately grabbed for a teethed knife, and sawed himself a huge chunk of the chicken that had been taunting him for nearly forty-five minutes. Kurt happily began eating the chuck of chicken right off the fork, until Ororo gave him a meaningful look from across the table. Kurt sighed and placed the chicken on his plate and cut it into bite-sized pieces. For a few moments the room was silent, except for the clatter of fork and spoons. Finally Jean spoke up,

"So, Kitty, who was it you were talking to?"

"Oh, Noelle. You know her?"

"No...."

"Nope."

"I know _of _her, but I don't_ know_ her."

"I know her! She sat behind me in...wait.... no...that was _Noel_. Never mind."

"Yeah, she rejected Jim Davis last year."

"Awww! How sad!!"

"Not really."

"Never heard of her."

"Hahaha, Jimmy got re-jected!"

"Shut up that's so sad!!"

"I hate that guy."

Kurt would have happily joined the conversation of not knowing how this girl was, but his mouthful of mashed potatoes complicated the issue.

Huh.... mashed.... smashed...which one was it? Mashed potatoes or smashed potatoes? Kurt was stumped.

"What about her?" Jean asked, spooning steamed corn kernels onto her plate, not dropping a single one.

"We're partners-"

"For what?"

"If you'd let me finish and I'd tell you!" Kitty rolled her eyes at Bobby, "So rude. Anyway were partners for biology." Kitty buttered the heel of a loaf of bread, "And that reminds me professor. We have this like, really big project due in a couple of weeks, can Noelle come over to work on it?"

"I don't see why not," the Pofessor smiled, "When shall I schedule it?"

"Oh, I don't know."

"Ya don' know? Ya don' know!?!" Rouge exploded quite suddenly, "Ya spent nearly an hour talking ta her and _ya don' know_!?!?!"

"Well soooory," Kitty grumbled, glaring at Rogue as she stabbed her pile of smashed potatoes with her fork. Kurt ignored all the conversation, and ate happily. Finally he leaned back in his chair, sighing happily. He listened to the others conversations, while wondering if the potatoes he had eaten were mashed or smashed.

"Yum yum yum" he babbled to himself, patting his stomach contently.

"Look, all that I'm saying is that the brotherhood is out of line, it's nothing personal."

"You just don't like Lance."

"Who could?"

'Your mama!"

"Wow Bobby. I cannot express how lame that was."

"Its not that I don't like him Kitty...or...yeah, that it is."

"Your mamma's lame."

"Ha-ha.... mamma..."

"Its old school funny. Like Pink Floyd."

"Your just racist Scott!!"

"Kitty? Not liking the brotherhood is not racist. Being racist is not like someone based on his or her race. Not liking the brotherhood is just a human concept."

"What about.... your daddy?"

"Jamie shut up."

"You shut up."

"Don't say shut up."

"Just give me one reason."

"He's a jerk."

"No a reason!"

'That _is _my reason!"

"Shut up!"

"You shut up."

"Shut up tha both of ya."

Kurt smiled...he was happy. Happier then he had ever been in his entire life.... but at the same time...he was miserable.

"Hey," Evan blurted out randomly, "Is it mashed potatoes or smashed?"

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

**Beep beep beep beep.**

The shrill beep of Kurt alarm clock yanked Kurt out of his dreamless sleep. Kurt blindly reached his hand out of the warmth of the covers and turned off the alarm. Kurt snuggled under the covers, trying to forget the alarm.

_Kurt. Now._

Kurt sighed and rolled out from under his covers, sleepily standing on his feet.How did the professer always know everything about everything? He blinked furiously, trying to kick his night vision into focus.

There...

The room may seem completely dark to a normal person, but to Kurt, a creepy greenish glow was cast over the room. Kurt swayed sleepily as he walks to his dresser and yanked out the first shirt and pair of pants his fingers touched.

Kurt opened the door to his room, the hall light nearly blinding his night vision. Kurt patiently stood for a few seconds, waiting for his night vision to return to normal vision. Finally everything slid into focus and Kurt made his way down the hall into the bathroom.

Kurt stood like a zombie in the shower, trying to wake up. The warm water splattered on his back only made him sleepier.

"Tiiiiiierd." He groaned, "Vant sleep." Finally he felt the water grow colder and colder against his back.

Opps. Kitty wasn't going to be happy. Not at all. Kurt turned the silver knobs and stepped out of the shower. Kurt grabbed a fluffy white towel from the rack, and tried to dry himself off which had once again proved to be futile.

Kurt swore gently in his native tongue and wrapped the towel around his waist. Trying to dry a body covered in dark blue fur is nearly impossible to do. Kurt reached up and rubbed away the streamed mirror. He saw two golden eyes staring back at him. Kurt reached up and touched his face.

Fingers...hardly fingers.

Kurt sighed sadly, wishing that he had left the mirror fogged. He stared longer at this reflection. Two elfish ears. A long spaded tail. Three thumbed hand.

He was a freak. He was a freak and he knew it.

Kurt shuddered, reaching for his toothbrush. He squeezed a small dab of spearmint past on the brushed and scrubbed his teeth. Then he stopped.

Fangs. Sharp...pointed...fangs.

Kurt scrubbed harder with the toothbrush, almost as if he was trying to brush his teeth right out of his head.

Vhy? Vhy me? Vhat did I do to...deserve this?

Kurt knew he suffered from depression. He always had.... ever since the day... the day he realized. Realized what he was. Kurt began dressing, even though his fur was far from dry.

Life is so easy when you're young. You have a mom and dad. They read you stories. They cook you meals. Who needs anything else? What else is there? Then you realize how much you need. Need thing from people you cannot have alone.

Kurt needed...badly.

But he knew he couldn't. He never could. Who would want him? Who could ever accept him? He didn't even accept himself.

Kurt pulled the shirt over his head, and for the first time of the morning, examined what he was actually wearing when he had blindly grabbed cloths. A dark, baggy pair of jeans and a black shirt that said in bold white letters,

"Deutschliebe-Safegeschlecht. Seien Sie wie ein Deutscher!!" Then it had a German brand condom advertisement. Kurt snorted, remembering buying the shirt.

What fun!! Suddenly Kurt's dark mood skyrocket. This was going to be great!! Wait until he showed George his shirt and told him what it said. This was going to be awesome!

Kurt flicked on his image inducer, an image of a normal boy flickered around him, concealing the real him. Kurt took on look in the mirror, smiled at his reflection now it was a pale skinned adolescent and teleported away in a puff of smoke.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"Uh!!" Kitty huffed angerly.

"Uh!" Kurt mimicked.

"Shut up."

"Shut up."

"Kurt!"

"Kurt!"

"Kurt I swear...."

"Kurt I svear.... because I'm Keeeeety and I'm a vaaaaaaalley girl.... and I say "liiiiiiiike" a lot...." Kurt wiggled his hips, mimicking Kitty. Kitty was less amused.

"You left water all over the bathroom floor this morning. No wonder there was any hot water left! What did you do, scuba dive?"

Kurt stopped dancing and looked seriously at kitty.

"Ich did, and you vould be surprised at how friendly barracuda are." He though for a moment, "And how delectable a dolphin is." Kurt smiled, knowing dolphins were Kitty's favorite animals.

Kitty didn't reply, not hearing Kurt's answer about dolphins over the low continues roar of the cafeteria. George laughed, obviously appreciating Kurt's joke. George, Kurt's friend from outside the mansion, decided Kitty had not had enough.

"Kitty! Didn't you hear? We barbecued a dolphin!" Kitty's eyes widened

"Don't! Don't that's sad!!" George grinned. George was an optimismistic guy. The kind of guy you want to have around. Kurt was always amazed with George. Even though George was slightly round (not fat mind you), he always got the girls.

It was amazing. He had dark hair and pale skin, until it came to his cheeks, which were always flushed. He always wore a lot of thick bracelets with symbols of rock bands Kurt had never heard of. But girls always were falling all over him. Like a magic trick. George laughed and stretched his legs out, making sure to kick Kitty.

"Uh! That is it! I am so totally leaving!" Kitty stood up abruptly. "So immature," she muttered as she stalked off to spend the rest of her lunch period elsewhere. George rolled his eyes.

"Dude, how can you stand her?"

"Who? Keetty?"

"Yeah, man, she's so annoying. I mean, so _totally_ annoying." Kurt shrugged,

"You have to get to know her. She's not so bad."

George snorted, looking quite disbelieving.

Kurt shrugged again remembering his ex-crush on Kitty. When he had first arrived at the institute, he had become so overwhelmed by the opportunity he decided he liked the first available girl he saw. Ms. Kitty Pryde. He soon found out that that was a mistake. Even though he liked kitty as a friend she was to.... self-centered and superficial. She always has made him feel insecure. She had come around since then but still-

"Hey!"

Kurt looked up. A girl was standing at their table. She was wearing tight blue jeans and a tight black tank top. She had numerous bracelets around her wrist and had a tight chocker necklace around her neck. She was fair skinned, with light blond hair that fell at her shoulders. Kurt was sad to report though, she lacked in the chestal area. What do you expect from a guy?

"Yeeees?" George asked looking up at her.

"Yeah...um... I saw Kitty over here, but she is gone now apparently, do you know where she went?" She had a small sweet voice that surprised Kurt. Her apperence seemed a little harsh, but she stood timidly.

"Um yeah," George waved his hand in the general direction that Kitty had stormed off in, "Thata way."

"Oh.... thank you." She almost whispered. Then she looked sideways at Kurt's shirt.

"Hey!!" She exclaimed suddenly loud, "I know what that means!!" Kurt grinned politely,

"Do you?"

"Yeah, I didn't cheat my way through three years of German class to not recognize the word "sex" in German!" She smiled, and laughed. Kurt was surprised at this change.

"Ve don't know vhere Keetty vent," he admitted, "You vant to sit?"

"Ja." She replied cutely in German.

Kurt smiled, her accent was a little weird, but it was good to hear something in his native tongue. She smiled and shed her backpack from her back, almost toppling over with it.

"Whoa!" She steadied herself and grinned, "It is very heavy." She sat down and smiled, looking at Kurt's shirt.

"Was Ihr Name ist?" Kurt asked politely.

"Mein Name ist Noelle." Kurt jumped at the name.

"Hey! Your Keetty's friend!"

"Partner." She replied instantly looking a little unsure of being Kitty's friend.

"Oh." Kurt was a little defensive, "Vell she's _my_ friend." Noelle blinked, looking confused.

"Well, that's ok. I never said it wasn't."

For a few minutes they started at each other, trying to determine what to think about the other.

"Well bye." She stood up.

"Bye." Kurt looked at her as she walked off, trying to determine what to think.

**Briiiiiiiiiiing!**

The bell jerked Kurt out of his train of thought.

"Funs over. Back to education." George grinned, crumpling up his subway sandwich wrapper and tossing it in the direction of a trashcan, missing of course.

"Ohhhh....de-nied." George laughed. Kurt stood up, almost tripping on something on the ground.

"Hey...its that one girls back pack." George stated obviously. Kurt picked it up, almost breaking his arm in the process.

No wonder Noelle was almost falling over. Kurt slung it over his shoulder, deciding he'd return it as soon as he found her.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"By looking at the slopes incline, we can determine how long it will take for pipe A to run into pipe B" Kurt sat with a glazed look in his eyes as Mr. Roberts droned about mathematical slope inclines. Kurt looked down at the small, but heavy backpack at his feet.

He still couldn't find Noelle. He looked with newfound curiosity at the backpack. Kurt was beginning to wonder what girls keep in their backpacks and the boringness of math wasn't deflecting his curiosity. Anything was more interesting then inclining slopes.

Kurt looked around the room, making sure Mr. Roberts wasn't looking. Then he slowly unzipped a small pocket on the front of the backpack. Kurt peeled the flap away and examined the content.

A few crumpled dollars, a small green compact mirror, shiny lip-gloss.... and.... Kurt looked harder. A square green plastic thingy.

Kurt pulled it out.

Vow, vhat is zis?

Kurt heard a few giggles behind him. He turned around to look at a girl named Ashley.

"Vhat?" He hissed.

"Is it your period already, Kurt?" She asked, then erupted laughing. Kurt felt his face burn as he realized what he was holding.

He crammed the item back down in the backpack, wanting to melt into the ground. Girl's backpacks are dangerous!

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Kurt ported into his room in the mansion, holding the backpack to his chest. He had conveniently not found Noelle at all today, and decided now that he was in the safely of his own room he could look property.

Kurt kneeled down on the carpet, and unzipped the second compartment on the backpack. Inside he found pens, erasers, nothing interesting. Kurt unzipped the main compartment. Inside he found.... books. Many many books. He pulled them out one by one. There was a green book with gold lettering that read:

Meta Philosophical Views of the Twenty-first Century. Kurt blinked, then continued. There were many books, all about philosophy. Kant, Hegel, Aristotle Plato, so many Kurt lost count of philosophers. He emptied the last book, a normal sized book that read,

Great Philosophers of Our Era.

Kurt stood up and sat on his bed, and curiously opened the book and began reading.


End file.
